# Brand Voice Review: Susan's LinkedIn Draft #1
**Reviewed by:** Herald  
**Date:** 2026-02-18  
**Piece:** LinkedIn Competitive Value Prop Post  
**Location:** `/home/ccuser/susan/memory/drafts/linkedin-post-1.md`

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## Verdict: 🟡 Needs Minor Fixes

The structure is solid. The maths are right. But it doesn't fully pass the Michael Test — it reads more like a marketing agency wrote it than a bloke who's lived this for 30 years.

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## Issues

### 1. ❌ Tone is too polished
- "Construction contractors are paying crazy amounts" — "crazy amounts" is vague. Michael would use specific numbers or more direct language.
- The emoji bullet points (🔸) make it feel like a LinkedIn marketing template, not a founder post.

### 2. ❌ The analogy misses
- "$20 note in your work shirt pocket" — it's cute but it undersells the savings. You're saving thousands, not $20. The analogy works against the message.

### 3. ⚠️ Competitor numbers need checking
- "hipages: $129-429/month + lead credits" — this is their subscription model, correct. But we should note they charge per LEAD, not per hire. That's our killer differentiator.
- "Sidekicker: 20%+ ongoing markup" — Sidekicker was acquired by SEEK in Dec 2025. Need to verify current pricing post-acquisition.
- "Traditional agencies: 40% markup" — we typically say 20-40% or specifically $25/hr. 40% alone might overstate for some agencies.

### 4. ✅ What works
- The breakdown format is strong
- "$50 flat fee per hire. That's it." — perfect. That IS the Michael Test.
- "Workers keep 100% of their rate" — good.
- Engagement question at the end is fine.

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## Suggested Direction (NOT a rewrite — Susan should edit)

**Tone shift:** Drop the emojis, go more direct. Think "rant from someone who's done the maths" not "infographic post."

**Fix the analogy:** Replace the $20 note bit with something that actually captures the scale. E.g., "That's a new ute every year you're handing to an agency."

**Sharpen the comparator:** Lead with "per LEAD" vs "per HIRE" — that's the line that makes people stop scrolling.

**Keep:** The structure, the question at the end, the $50 line.

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## Action
- Send these notes to Susan for revision
- Don't publish until revised version passes the Michael Test
- This should go through the Weekly Content Drop after revision

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*Herald — Brand Voice Review*